The Nude Bomshell aka The Return of Mrs Maxw
by In lust with Cath
Summary: -ell Smart) *grumbles about the fact that the title was too long* This is a different version of the 70's Get Smart movie, "The Nude Bomb". This is what it would be if 99 was IN it, and if it was ABOUT her. I would REALLY appreciate a review. P.S. R becau


"The Nude Bombshell (a.k.a. The Return of Mrs. Maxwell Smart)"  
  
  
  
Max shivered in the cold. "Where the hell is 13?!" Max demanded. His  
  
patience was somewhat dwindled nowadays.  
  
"Hey Max." 13 greeted.  
  
"Where have you been?" Max narrowed his eyes in anger at the agent, and his  
  
friend. "I have been waiting over a half an hour for you!"  
  
"Sorry about that Max," 13 sniffled, "You don't have to yell at me."  
  
"I'm sorry I yelled at you 13. Do you have any messages for me?"  
  
13 dug into his pocket, "Yes, this just in, Agent 99 is missing."  
  
Max sighed and rolled his eyes, "That was five years ago, 13. 99 has been  
  
missing for five years!"  
  
"You should check your messages more often." 13 suggested before leaving.  
  
Max sighed heavily and fought back tears. He made his way slowly home. He  
  
turned on the lights of the apartment. It was quiet tonight; it was always  
  
quiet. No children rushed to greet him, they had been taken away by Child  
  
Welfare.  
  
Max tried, Max tried really hard. He needed 99. He needed her not only  
  
because without her he was an emotional wreck but also because he was  
  
nothing without 99. Nothing.  
  
He couldn't look at a woman, not without instantly aching for 99 that is. He  
  
missed her like he was missing a part of himself. He was missing a part of  
  
himself, his better half.  
  
He blamed himself for 99's disappearance. He had been in a meeting and the  
  
Chief told him that 99 was on the phone. He took the call of course, it was  
  
his wife, I mean come on. She told him that she was being tailed. Max had  
  
told her it was nothing to worry about and that he would see her later. He  
  
hadn't seen her since. If only he had taken her seriously. If only he hadn't  
  
assumed that everything was fine. If only had heed 99's warning. If only.  
  
He dragged himself into the Chief's office later that night after receiving  
  
a call from the Chief.  
  
The Chief watched his expression with pity. He knew Max didn't want- or  
  
need- his pity, but he still felt sorry for the guy. "Why don't you have a  
  
seat Max?"  
  
Max nodded sullenly. He sat down heavily and averted his eyes away from the  
  
Chief.  
  
"How are you feeling?"  
  
"How the hell do you think I'm feeling? Everything I do reminds me that 99  
  
is gone. Especially CONTROL because CONTROL is the reason I met 99." He ran  
  
a hand through his hair in a vain attempt to calm himself, "And I just can't  
  
take it anymore, Chief." He hit his fist to the hardwood top of the Chief's  
  
desk. He fought back tears. His chest heaved with the effort.  
  
"God damn it, Chief." Max said quietly resuming his seat and taking his face  
  
in his hands.  
  
It was scenes like this one that the Chief didn't know quite how to react  
  
to. "I have something to take your mind off it Max."  
  
"What?"  
  
"An assignment."  
  
"Thank god. Is there a good chance I'll be killed?" He smiled.  
  
"Max, don't say that."  
  
"What good am I without 99? None. I'm no good to anyone."  
  
"Max. I need you, CONTROL needs you. You need to believe that 99's alright.  
  
You need to believe that or it'll destroy you."  
  
Max stayed silent. The Chief watched him waiting for a response and when he  
  
received none he continued. "I need you to check out the 'Lady Godiva Hotel'  
  
, there has been reports of suspicious activity."  
  
"Of course there's suspicious activity. It's a whorehouse Chief."  
  
"I've heard that rumor too-"  
  
"No Chief. It's definitely a whorehouse. Ask Larabee he knows."  
  
Larabee walked into the office. "Did I hear my name?" He asked.  
  
"Yes. Larabee isn't the 'Lady Godiva Hotel' a whorehouse?"  
  
"It sure is."  
  
"Thank you Larabee." He turned and walked through the sliding door. Max  
  
turned back to the Chief, "See?"  
  
The Chief sighed heavily. He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Alright Max.  
  
Alright. But I still need you to go there."  
  
"How could you suggest that? I'm a married man!"  
  
"KAOS high officials have been observed going in and out on a regular  
  
basis." The Chief continued to explain.  
  
"Even KAOS needs their kicks, Chief."  
  
"Max!" The Chief scolded. "This is the end of the discussion. You are going.  
  
Make sure you have a gun. Go now."  
  
Max glared at the Chief, but he got up and walked out of the office. Who the  
  
hell did the Chief think he was? Max steamed.  
  
He got into his car and drove to the 'Lady Godiva Hotel'.  
  
He walked to the door and pushed it open slowly. He didn't want to be there,  
  
but he figured he'd at least look like he belonged if nothing else. He  
  
walked in confidently smiling suavely. Then he tripped on the rug, and when  
  
he did so he hit his head against the base of a chair.  
  
He looked straight ahead at dozens of pairs of feet and was instantly  
  
offered hands of help. Hands with long fingers with painted sharp  
  
fingernails.  
  
He stood and shook his head clear. He opened his eyes and looked out over  
  
the group of girls giggling and smiling at him. He did a double take and  
  
stared at them.  
  
"How hard did I hit my head?" Max demanded, looking over a sea of 99s; 99s  
  
of all different heights, hair colors, and wearing clothes of varying  
  
skimpiness.  
  
"Are you alright, Max?" A tall red-haired 99 asked latching onto his arm.  
  
The voice was different, it wasn't right. It wasn't 99.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." He let his voice trail off as he searched for the one true  
  
99.  
  
"Come with me, Maxie." Too short, too blonde, deep but not quite deep  
  
enough.  
  
"No, me!" Green eyes, red hair.  
  
"Enough ladies." Commanded a deep sultry voice. Max turned and saw her. A  
  
long coiling whip at her side, tight leather shorts revealing most of her  
  
butt in the back, the matching leather bra that seemed several sizes too  
  
small. Despite all the un-99 like characteristics, it was 99. "This one's  
  
mine."  
  
The girls parted as 99 walked down the small staircase looking with big blue  
  
eyes at Max. She stopped in front of him, her face not an inch from touching  
  
his.  
  
He gulped looking forward, "99?"  
  
"At your service, Max." She replied looking longingly into his eyes.  
  
"Oh my god I've missed you."  
  
"Come on, let's go somewhere more private." She looked over her shoulder at  
  
a burly man by the door with his arms folded across his chest, "they're  
  
watching me."  
  
99 turned and started to walk away, she looked at Max who hadn't moved.  
  
"Come on." She crooked a finger to coax him along. "You can walk or we can  
  
do it my way."  
  
"What's your way?" Max asked curiously.  
  
She cracked her whip and it coiled around his neck, "I'm coming." Max  
  
insisted, "I'm coming."  
  
They walked into a dimly lit room. "There. Now we're alone."  
  
"Can you get this thing off? I'm having a little trouble breathing, 99." He  
  
asked pulling at the whip still coiled quite tightly around his neck.  
  
"Sorry about that." She took it off gently, "Is that better sweetie?"  
  
"Much, thank you." Max thanked 99. She laid the whip on the bed and turned  
  
to Max. She walked up to him and kissed him. Max's arms went instantly  
  
around 99's waist and he kissed her back fervently.  
  
Max broke the kiss, "Wait."  
  
"What?"  
  
"What?! 99, how can you not know what I'm talking about?"  
  
"Because I have no idea what you're talking about." 99 admitted.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" He demanded.  
  
"Being held against my will," She snapped defensively putting a hand on her  
  
hip, "Although I could ask you the same question."  
  
"I'm on a mission!"  
  
They both looked sheepishly at each other sorry for not trusting the other  
  
and sorry for it mattering anyway.  
  
Max hugged 99 tightly. "I've missed you so much." He felt himself starting  
  
to cry at the same time that 99 felt tears rolling delicately off her  
  
cheeks.  
  
"I've missed you too." 99 never wanted to let go she held tight to his  
  
shoulders. "How are the twins?"  
  
"They're doing well. Their new mother isn't any bit as good as you were."  
  
99 thought she could hear her heart snapping in two. "You," She stuttered,  
  
"You re-married?"  
  
"No!" Max snapped, "Are you kidding? I haven't even been able to look at  
  
anyone else since you went amiss."  
  
"Then how do the twins have a new mother?"  
  
"The Child welfare took them." Max admitted, "I tried 99."  
  
"Oh Max." 99 latched onto him tighter.  
  
"I'm gonna get you out of here 99. But first tell me a few things."  
  
"What do you want to know?"  
  
"What goes on here?" She separated from him and looked at him dubiously,  
  
with one eyebrow raised.  
  
"Max, it's a whorehouse what do think goes on here?"  
  
"I meant KAOS related."  
  
"Cloning."  
  
"What?"  
  
"You heard me," 99 scolded, "I said cloning."  
  
"What does this have to do with you?"  
  
"KAOS needed a guinea pig for their experiments, one that would be no big  
  
loss if it died." 99 said with contempt in her voice.  
  
"99, you poor kid," He hugged her again. "I tried to find you. This would  
  
have been the last place I would have looked though."  
  
"I don't blame you for that. This is the last place I would have looked for  
  
me too."  
  
"You'll never know how guilty I've felt for not coming to get you that day  
  
you called."  
  
"What's done is done. No sense in worrying about it now." 99 insisted.  
  
"Come on 99, let's get out of here." Max grabbed her by the wrist and  
  
attempted to lead her to the door. She pulled him back with surprising  
  
strength.  
  
"I can't."  
  
"You can't? What do you mean you can't?"  
  
"Just what I said. I can't. If I leave the building I'll get electrocuted."  
  
"Of course the old touch the door knob get electrocuted trick."  
  
"No," 99 disagreed, "The old whore on an invisible leash trick."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I had a chip inserted into the back of my head, now if I ever try to leave  
  
the building it'll send volts of electricity through my body within an inch  
  
of my life."  
  
"That's gotta suck."  
  
"They've only kept me alive because the clones will only listen to me. They  
  
watch me so closely! I can't escape and I can't kill myself. I feel so used,  
  
so. dirty."  
  
"It'll be alright."  
  
"I figured if I told the clones to revolt then Chabot, he runs this place, I  
  
figured he'd get angry and put me out of my misery, but he just took sexual  
  
advantage of me and warned me that he'd do it again." She started to sob  
  
again, she latched onto Max, "Max you've got to get me out of here, get me  
  
out or kill me, right now it isn't much of a difference to me."  
  
"I'm going to get you out of here 99. God help me I will and I'll kill that  
  
Chabot bastard too." Max's fists clenched, "That son of a bitch will be  
  
sorry he ever touched you. But I'm going to get CONTROL back-up first."  
  
"Maxwell Smart you'd better hurry," She grabbed onto his neck tie, "You'd  
  
better get back here quickly with the means to get me out of here, or. or I'  
  
ll do something desperate!"  
  
Choking against the tightening tie, "I will! Right now I have to go before  
  
KAOS gets suspicious."  
  
"Good-bye." 99 gave him a quick sorrowful kiss.  
  
He took her in his arms and gave her a longer kiss, "Not for very long, my  
  
love, I'll come for you."  
  
She watched the door shut behind him, she waited a moment before leaving.  
  
She walked into the long hallway and started down it.  
  
"Where are you going?" Chabot walked up behind her.  
  
She gasped in surprise she turned around to be staring into Chabot's face.  
  
She gulped, "I'm just going to the front room."  
  
"Exactly." He pushed on her nose, oh how she hated when he did that, "We  
  
wouldn't want our regulars to be deprived of their favorite little whore."  
  
"Oh yes, Heaven forbid." 99 muttered under her breath.  
  
"You are a feisty little bitch aren't you?" Chabot pulled his hand back and  
  
hit her full on the butt, "And such a pretty one."  
  
"That's it you bastard." 99 turned around and kicked Chabot in the face. He  
  
was only momentarily surprised, but he grabbed hold of her foot. 99 fell  
  
flat on her back, she took in a deep breath trying to get her breath back.  
  
Chabot grinned smugly at 99 trying desperately to breath. "You're last name  
  
betrays you." He leaned down over her.  
  
"Get off me." She hissed.  
  
"That attitude will get you in trouble, I promise you." He rubbed her thigh,  
  
"I've raped you before and believe me I won't hesitate to do it again."  
  
He let her up and she glared pointedly at him for a second before continuing  
  
on her way, muttering silent curses under her breath.  
  
Chabot walked down the hallway. Suddenly and idea struck him, a brilliant  
  
wicked idea. He made it to the main room.  
  
He saw his henchman, Goudin, standing his guard in front of the door as  
  
always. He approached him. "Goudin, go get me the Smart bitch."  
  
"Yes sir." Goudin walked off to do what he was told. A moment or two later  
  
99 walked over to Chabot, Goudin following behind her.  
  
"You sent for me?" She asked.  
  
Chabot grabbed her by the back of her neck. 99's neck muscles tightened as  
  
she fought his grip. "You bitch!"  
  
"What did I do this time?" She cried, "What?"  
  
"You bitch, CONTROL will know about this place within a matter of hours, you  
  
stupid bitch."  
  
99 slowly sunk to the floor in agony, "Please," she begged, "You're hurting  
  
me!"  
  
"Oh believe me, this is the least amount of pain you're going to be in for a  
  
long while, you conniving little bitch."  
  
He let go of her neck and pushed her into Goudin, he grabbed her wrists and  
  
held tight, as she fought to stand. "You want I should beat her again boss?"  
  
"No, not this time Goudin, I've got bigger plans for Mrs. Smart." He grinned  
  
wickedly at 99. He reached out and grabbed her by her hair and pulled her  
  
painfully to her feet. "You little wretch, I'll teach you a lesson you won't  
  
soon forget."  
  
He threw open the front door, "Remember sunlight Mrs. Smart? Remember the  
  
birds? Remember freedom?" He shook her in front of the open door, "Take one  
  
last good look, because this is the last you'll see any of it."  
  
"You're going to kill me, aren't you."  
  
"You could have been a female Sherlock Holmes." He commented sarcastically.  
  
"There was a female Sherlock Holmes you idiot, Nancy Drew."  
  
"I was going to make it easy on you and kill you quick, but now you're going  
  
to suffer."  
  
"What are you going to do?" She demanded.  
  
Chabot pulled a gun out of a holster, "We're going outside."  
  
"No! No, that'll hurt," 99 grabbed desperately at the door, at anything she  
  
could.  
  
"You are stupid! That's the whole damn point. You'll scream in pitiful  
  
agony, then I'll shoot you in the head. Put you out of your misery."  
  
"Please! Please! I'm begging you! I'll screw whoever you want, just spare  
  
me, please!"  
  
"You're past being able to plead for mercy, nothing can save you now." He  
  
walked out into the parking lot dragging her kicking and screaming with him.  
  
The slammed the door shut. 99 dropped to her knees screaming in agony. "Feel  
  
that sunshine, it's such a beautiful day." Chabot looked down at 99  
  
clenching her teeth and panting, fighting back the urge to scream. "For most  
  
people anyway."  
  
"You're crazy," She struggled to stand, but was too weak, "Someone will see  
  
you. Someone will see what you're doing!"  
  
"Who? Who will see Mrs. Smart?"  
  
"My husband." She growled, her knuckles began to get white as she clenched  
  
her fists, she could feel sweat on her forehead. The only thing she could  
  
feel was the blinding pain, it was bad but it was worse in her head. She  
  
felt like her head was going to explode.  
  
Max was just about to pull out of the parking lot when something in his  
  
rearview mirror caught his attention. "Oh my god!" He opened the door and  
  
ran through the parking lot.  
  
Max pulled out his gun, "You bastard, let her go!"  
  
"Uh-uh, Mr. Smart, you drop your gun, you drop your gun or your precious  
  
gets it right between the eyes, drop it!"  
  
Max tossed his gun to the side.  
  
Chabot continued, "You make a move for your wife or your shoe phone and the  
  
bitch dies, got it?"  
  
"Yeah I got it." Max said watching 99 wriggling in pain; it killed him to  
  
see that. To see it happening and not being able to anything about it.  
  
"I think I'll kill you first something else for your lovely bride to see."  
  
Chabot pulled back the hammer of his gun, "Anything you'd like to say before  
  
you die?"  
  
"Yeah." Max looked over Chabot's shoulder, he smiled, "Put your hands up."  
  
"What?" Chabot turned to see about 50 CONTROL agents with guns trained on  
  
him. "If I die I'm taking the bitch with me."  
  
Max tried to advance on him, Chabot put the gun back to 99's head, "Don't  
  
come closer, don't make me pull the god damned trigger."  
  
"It's over Chabot." Max took a step closer, Chabot began to get nervous,  
  
"There's no easy way out, not anymore."  
  
99 could faintly hear Max's voice. She hardly had the strength to open her  
  
eyes. She wished she was dead.  
  
"You don't want to kill her do you?"  
  
"I want to, it would give me no greater pleasure than to shoot a bullet into  
  
her head. To watch her bleed."  
  
99 felt consciousness floating away, she was beginning to lose her sense of  
  
feeling and reality, suddenly she felt nothing and her eye lids slid  
  
together peacefully and she went limp.  
  
Next thing she knew she was in a brightly lit room. She blinked a couple  
  
times surprised by the intensity of the light. The next thing she noticed  
  
was someone holding her hand. She turned her head and saw Max. She smiled.  
  
"Oh good you're awake."  
  
"Where am I?"  
  
"You're in the Downtown hospital. You've been under for hours."  
  
"How am I out of the whore house and not being electrocuted?"  
  
"The paramedics had to take the chip out of you at the whore house before  
  
they brought you here."  
  
"What about Chabot?" 99 asked.  
  
"I distracted him and Agent 41 overpowered him from behind."  
  
"Is he dead?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Why is that good?"  
  
"Because I want to kill him myself." 99 snarled.  
  
"99 you're too weak even to kill a bug, sweetie."  
  
"No I'm not."  
  
"Try to lift your arm, darling."  
  
99 looked at her arm. She didn't understand it, the fingers twitched and she  
  
was trying as hard as she could but she couldn't lift her arm, "Point  
  
taken."  
  
"This is only temporary the doctor said that in a couple of hours you'll be  
  
able to move. Although you won't be able to lift anything heavier than nine  
  
pounds for a month."  
  
"Do I get to go home Max?" Her eyes alight with happiness despite her  
  
temporary paralysis.  
  
"Yeah, 99, you get to come home." 


End file.
